Flip Flop
by The Bard of Essendra
Summary: Someone decides that it would be funny to send the people of the Essendra Region through the experience of unwilling magical sex changes. Renzen and Sten are both affected by this. They are NOT a happy couple for this development.


Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. I own only original characters and plot lines. I make no money off of this even if that would be just marvelous.

Written By: Akai Shi-Koret and Kenocka

Author's Notes: So I'd like to thank Akai for allowing me to publish this here on this account as well as on my account over on AO3. He's such a great co-writer. We just completely click whenever we work together and he's a great source of inspiration and an awesome sounding board whenever I need to bounce ideas or continue writing. Whenever we write it's like freaking magic, you can't tell that it's two people writing together. We just click that well. It's the most awesome thing ever. Also I'd like to apologize in advance for the MASSIVE ANGST NUKE I drop in what was supposed to be a funny and lighthearted fic. Everything I write seems to turn to angst when it comes to Sten and Renzen.

Fun fact: Renzen and Sten were created separately by Akai and I. It wasn't until after we posted their profiles and started joking about another story we're currently working on that we realized, "Holy cow! They have SO MUCH CHEMISTRY!" It's seriously ridiculous because this piece, along with The Hook, aren't canon and the canon piece that Akai and I are working on have them trying to kill one another. They HATE each other and only because it's canon they don't wind up just screwing like rabbits.

Renzen Krok, the Krookodile Essendran - Akai Shi-Koret

Sten, the Cacturne Essendran – Kenocka

Acknowledging his own homosexuality was difficult for Renzen to do, even after a few months of being in a relationship with Sten. So many years of believing that he was straight led to conflicting instincts, despite his best efforts. However, over the time he'd been seeing the Cacturne, Renzen had managed to ease into his newfound sexuality and almost start to enjoy it.

That was up until the morning he'd woken up, with Sten's arm thrown across his chest, and discovered that he was a woman.

Without thinking of the fact that me might be waking up his partner, the Krookodile leapt out of the bed, clutching the blankets to his chest. His mind was in shock and the only coherent thought he could manage was, _'__What the hell?'_ In all his years of hunting monsters he'd seen many strange things, but this was definitely the weirdest thing that had ever happened.

Sten jerked upright and Renzen's sudden departure from the bed, the spines along his arms rose in automatic self-defense. Looking to the right showed the Cacturne a naked, gawking woman that looked oddly familiar.

"Who the hell are you," the blood-drinker demanded in a snarl that wasn't as deep or growly as was intended. For a second Sten was confused and then looked down at where the woman was pointing. Breasts on his chest.

Sten screamed.

Renzen almost screamed as well after Sten let loose. This whole situation was ridiculously unpleasant, and the blankets were hardly enough to cover himself. She closed his eyes to spare her partner some decency, backing up so hard he almost knocked himself out on the wall behind him. Panic rose in his chest and Renzen almost gave in, but instincts formed from years of hunting monsters forced him to stay calm. _'Don't panic,'_ Renzen thought, breathing deeply. _'You're a woman now. Deal with that. Accept it. Sten needs you now. We'll figure this out.'_

The panic slowly receded to a manageable level, and Renzen finally regained some measure of conscious willpower. _'__First thing is to get ourselves decent. We can't take this if we have to keep looking at ourselves.'_ Feeling along the wall, Renzen finally came to the pile of clothes that was his. "Put this on," he said, blindly flinging his trench coat in Sten's direction.

"Renzen! That's you," half-screeched Sten in disbelief and on the verge of understandable tears. Taking refuge in Renzen's command the Cacturne quickly pulled the over-sized jacket on and closed it. Helping Renzen be less naked would calm her down so the woman quickly tore their dresser drawers apart until she found a huge shirt. It was thrown in Renzen's general direction while Sten had her eyes closed.

"What's going on," she nearly whined. More than three centuries of life as a male and now suddenly female? Sten figured she was allowed a little bit of a tantrum if she so desired.

The hunter caught the shirt one-handed, barely keeping the blankets he held from slipping down to the floor and exposing himself. Somewhat awkwardly, Renzen pulled on the shirt, wrapping the bed's comforter around his waist to keep his abdomen concealed as well. With that taken care of, he sank to the floor in equal parts relief and worry. Hopefully they could have a rational discussion about what do to next now that they weren't freaking out quite so much.

"I can't say I've had this happen before," Renzen replied, pointedly avoiding looking at Sten for fear that his panic would come back. "It could be the work of a skilled illusionist, but I rather doubt that possibility. Only Darkrai or Cresselia would have the skills to do something of this magnitude and I don't think that either of them would use them for a prank on just two people." He was silent for a few seconds, mulling over the other possibilities. They hadn't been out the night before, which ruled out the chance that they'd had a drink spiked with some kind of gender-bender potion, and though Renzen had had his fair share of dealing with magicians he hadn't made enemies with any of them. He couldn't think of another explanation why they'd suddenly been transformed, and decided to leave it at that. The important thing now was to get outside and seek help.

"Do you have anything to wear?" Renzen asked. They'd need to head outside if they wanted to discover what was going on, and for that they'd need actual clothes. Renzen was personally going to put on his normal clothes - after all, the jacket, hat and glasses should be enough to conceal the changes - but Sten didn't possess anything baggy enough to account for his alterations.

Sten hesitated answering for a moment as she racked her brains on whether or not to respond to the question. She did have some clothes to wear but had hidden them; she didn't know everything about Renzen yet.

"I do but I'm not sure how willing to wear them I would be," the Cacturne finally responded. She searched through the drawers tossed about contents until she found a key. Moving to the foot of the bed the man-turned-woman unlocked one of the two chests sitting there (the other was Renzen's). "Come take a look."

The Krookodile carefully stood and slowly walked to squat next to her partner. Inside the indicated chest were baubles and memoirs of Sten's past and oddly enough women's clothing. Renzen gave Sten A Look that demanded an explanation.

"At one point someone I was with had a peculiar kink," Sten said by way of explanation, her light green face had a slight red tinge to it, "and since I don't know all of yours..." She trailed off as she looked away.

As if to make up for some of the items the Cacturne quickly said, "_Some_ of them _are_ appropriate to go out in public in - not that I ever have! Some might fit you but I really don't see why we'd need anything but our own normal clothes."

"Trust me, if people see a woman walking around in men's clothing they're going to say things," he said, gingerly grabbing a hold of a top and lifting it, wrinkling his nose slightly. "The last thing we want is for people to figure out that we've mysteriously gender-bended." He tossed the article of clothing aside and went back to the chest, rooting through it with abandon. Most of what he found wasn't exactly appropriate for public wear, but after several minutes of digging Renzen had selected a light red tube top that seemed like it would cover at least most of Sten's new bust and the longest mini-skirt he could find, in addition to a pair of high heels. "This is probably the best you've got," he said, with an exasperated shrug. "Put that stuff on and let's get going." _'__I suppose I shouldn't have expected him to have any_actual_woman's clothing__.'_

"You realize that if I wear any of this that I'll look like a hooker right? And why do I have to be the one to wear this stuff! You've got tits now too! This isn't fair! Why can't I just dress in my normal clothes like you!" The imbalance of hormones coupled with bad memories buried in the opened chest left only one option for the rightfully upset man-turned-woman to do: cry. Sten dissolved into a mass of hysterical tears just as anyone in her sudden predicament might do.

Renzen sighed softly as Sten dissolved into tears again. Obviously his clothes were more baggy and could conceal himself better than anything Sten wore, but given the Cacturne's current mental and emotional states logical reasoning wasn't likely to even make a dent. Instead, he simply wrapped his arms around his partner's waist and hugged him close. "Listen, I'm sorry," he said quietly. "It's gonna be tough getting through this, but if you just trust me it'll be easier. Alright?" He closed his eyes and planted a soft kiss on Sten's cheek. "Now let's calm down and deal with this. For Arceus' sake, you must have seen something like this in the centuries you've been alive."

Sten felt her panic subsiding just slightly with Renzen's reassuring words and hug. Even if her partner wasn't one for emotional displays without reason the Krookodile was still good at helping other people with their own. "No this has never happened before last year! Everything got weird after the damn humans came here!"

She sniffled for a few minutes longer and rubbed her head against Renzen's neck, indulging in the snuggling greedily. There was no reason not to take advantage of the situation right? Sten smirked wobbly and looked up at Renzen.

"Wanna compare sizes," she joked half-heartedly.

Renzen gave a short, forced laugh. "That's alright," he said, shaking his head and trying to re-forget about his chest enhancements. "And I thought you were into men in the first place. Why the sudden interest in the female anatomy?" To be honest, Sten hadn't specifically told him that he was gay - Renzen just assumed it was true. For all he knew the Cacturne enjoyed a female escort just as much as a male one. _'__And obviously he's friends with a few of them, judging by the clothes he's collected,'_ Renzen thought with another look at the heap of cloth on the floor. "We should probably get going before too long though," he said with another reassuring peck on the cheek. "There're a few people we can visit who might know what's happened to us."

With a shrug Sten responded. "I am mostly but I'm trying to make myself feel better." She pulled away reluctantly and glanced down at the pile on the floor. "I'm not wearing any of that though. I'll find something that won't make you look like a pimp taking her bitch out for a stroll. I'll find something in this mess."

Renzen shrugged. "I don't know if there's anything better in there, but feel free to take a look." He stood up from his crouched position, moving across the room to his own (noticeably smaller) pile of clothes. "Don't look unless you want to see," he announced as he let the blanket fall down from around his waist. Renzen moved quickly, sliding on his old pair of boxers and jeans as fast as he could. The shirt was a little more of an issue, given his new breasts, but fortunately he'd escaped from being cursed with size-D's and was able to make do with simply undoing the top three buttons. As he worked the hunter shook his head at the ridiculousness of it. He and Sten used to have no issues with changing in front of each other and here they were on opposite sides of the room sorting through clothing.

"Sten? You changing over there?" Renzen called over his shoulder without looking. The Cacturne still had his jacket and he needed that to fully conceal himself.

"Yes I'm changing. I guess I'll just have to stick with what I've got for now," Sten answered glumly while glaring at the offending women's clothing. "I'm keeping the jacket though or at least getting another long one. I don't wanna suddenly be male again and dressed like a woman."

With more difficulty than was necessary Sten struggled and put the clothes on. It was _far_ too drafty in her opinion and she dreaded the looks and cat-calls that she knew were headed her way in the near future.

"For the record I am hating this and I'm going to kill whoever's responsible very slowly."

"Didn't you already do that?" Renzen asked, raising an eyebrow. "Dress like a girl when you were a man? I thought that's why you _had_ all that clothing. Besides, if we _DO_ change back while you're dressed that way, all you have to do is hide for another hundred years until they've all died. Simple." At times Renzen was envious of Sten's unnaturally long life, but at others he understood that it was more of a curse than anything else. In this particular situation though, it was a gift from Arceus.

Renzen laughed at Sten's second declaration as he pulled on his hat and glasses. "Oh come on now, you don't mean it, do you? For all we know whoever did this is just trying to give us a little perspective." Internally Renzen agreed with Sten, but there was no point in complaining or bemoaning their fate now. What was, was.

"No it's not the reason I have all this crap and I never just skipped out the door in drag. This was for a private audience." She made a face at this.

"If I live for another hundred years then you might not be around to laugh about this with me. That would suck." Sten hesitated and kept to herself the fact that weeks ago she had activated Destiny Bond while Renzen was asleep. It hadn't been something she'd thought about for more than a few seconds and even now she remained uneasy about the decision. Either her life would be shortened and she'd only live as long as Renzen or she'd cursed the Krookodile into living as long as she would and that was an unknown.

_'Too much murder at too young an age. Then again it wasn't always a choice.'_ The consternation shown on her face for a second before quickly receding. "And yeah I do mean it. I'm killing the responsible party or parties. To hell with perspective."

Renzen caught Sten's expression and sighed. He knew as well as the Cacturne did that he'd be dead long before Sten was. If anything, the long life might be a curse. "Look, don't worry about that," Renzen said, slugging Sten's arm in a playful manner. "Let's just enjoy the time we've got, alright? We've got enough problems as is," he said, jiggling her boobs to remind his partner of the task at hand. "At this rate, I'll _help_ you kill them. This is ridiculous. If I wanted to have boobs I would have turned you down at The Hook all that time ago and found some street whore."

For a second Sten stared in at the bouncing bosoms of her partner the same way one would stare at a train wreck. Then she heard what was being said and couldn't help but smile and turn slightly into mush. "For someone that likes pretending the only emotions they know are grumpy and growly you can always find a way to say the right things at the right times. Let's go though. I'm tired of this weirdness."

Renzen pretended to be slightly hurt. "It's not pretending," he said, faking injury in his voice. "I had a traumatic childhood, remember? But you're right, let's get a move-on." He headed for the door, offering his arm to Sten. "Arceus, it feels weird moving with these things on my chest," he complained with another glance downwards. "How do women do it?"

Sten laughed and closed the jacket before hooking one arm around Renzen's and leading him out onto the street. "They have years to deal with the things unlike the rest of us." Turning to lock the door she re-hooked the Krookodile's arm and started up the walkway. "Everyone's had a traumatic childhood. It's just to what degree that actually matters."

"That was a joke and you know it," Renzen replied with a little half-smile. Inwardly he felt bad - he'd just told a bald-faced lie to his partner - but given the morning they'd just suffered, it was probably for their benefit that Sten didn't have another thing to worry about. "Look, let's focus on the task at hand. I know an apothecary in Aegad who might be able to help us." He led the way down the narrow street from their rented flat, moving at a decent pace, but still trying to enjoy the morning with Sten. So rarely did they have the chance to enjoy each other's company after a night together - Renzen usually had a job to take care of, and Sten tended to disappear on mysterious errands. The fact that they had time to simply amble about the city was marvelous. _'__If only we weren't both girls now,'_ Renzen thought darkly. That was the only dark patch in an otherwise brilliant morning.

"Do you remember any of your childhood?" Renzen asked as they strolled through the city. "I mean, it _was_ a thousand years ago, right?"

"It was _three hundred_ years ago not a thousand! And yes I do remember it. More often than I care to." At the look telling her to continue from Renzen Sten let her eyes roam everywhere but at her partner. "My mother was a tailor and my childhood consisted of helping her and traveling the desert of Bytharceos and the low grasslands that still stand just outside the reach of the wastes. It was always just the two of us and the two Camerupt that pulled the wagon. We weren't always welcomed in the towns or caravans that we came across – Cacturne are very rarely found to be anything other than forward scouts for the bands that raid places for blood – but apparently my mother was known well enough by the few towns we stopped in to be somewhat trusted. We weren't hard to barter with: if they had livestock then we'd make and mend clothes and drain just enough blood from the animals to last us the until we found someone else who needed our services.

It was always quiet when it was just the two of us. My mother rarely spoke to anyone unless she needed to clarify something. There were times when we would go for months without conversing with one another. When we did speak it was her correcting something I'd stitched wrong. Otherwise there was only the lazy lowing of Heat and Hot as they tirelessly pulled us along.

Cacturne roam desserts whether they're humanoid or Pokémon. No one really liked the thought of letting a lot of things that drink blood actually build a town together and burned them down the moment someone so much as whispered that such a thing was happening back then. It still happens from time to time but we've gotten better at hiding now."

Now came the hard part of the story.

"One night we got attacked by a gang. It's not an uncommon occurrence for Cacturne to turn on one another. We're sociopaths by most societies' standards because of what we do to live. They killed the Camerupt before they could do anything. Mother died, I lived."

The Krookodile glanced down at the pavement below them. He'd never heard Sten speak so candidly about his past life before. For a moment, Renzen struggled to say anything. He'd never been particularly good at dealing with heavy emotional issues like this. "I'm sorry," he managed to say finally. "How did you escape?"

"I didn't," Sten answered plainly while still avoiding looking at Renzen. "When I was older I was strong enough to leave so I did. By then I was used to wandering aimlessly so until I met you that's what I was doing." No need to mention that he'd learned how best to murder someone and get away with it before leaving the gang. Arceus forbid they allow the child of the group to go and live as he'd been taught to.

"The wagon's still there - where we were attacked. It's supposedly haunted and you can see the attack being played out every month on the waning moon. I've never tried to visit the wreck so all I've got to go by is hearsay."

Renzen was silent again, this time staring blankly ahead. He'd had a rough life too, but what Sten had been through defied description. Compared with the Cacturne, he'd had it comparatively easy. "Have you ever thought about, you know, going and visiting?" he asked gently. As a Dark-type Sten would be able to partially see ghosts - perhaps the spirit of his mother was still there, waiting to talk to him.

"Nope. No desire to revisit one of the most horrific places I've ever been witness to. The rumor mill's told me enough about the place anyway." The faked happy attitude wouldn't fool anyone with sense but Sten would be damned if he allowed the mopey "pity me" air stick to him so visibly for the rest of the day. "Why would I _want_ to visit anyway? What would the point be?"

Sten knew that there was a point to a possible visit but something deep in the pit of his gut just wouldn't let him go back to the wagon. His mother, the Camerupt, and the wagon had been home and he felt uneasy about going back to where home had been murdered.

The Krookodile gave Sten a soft peck on the cheek, regardless of how many onlookers there were nearby. He'd heard that "happy-happy" voice too many times before and knew that Sten wasn't alright. "I'm sorry for asking," he said simply. Inwardly he winced about bringing up such a painful subject. They'd never talked about their pasts before, and with good reason. Now he knew why Sten at least hadn't ever mentioned his childhood.

"Looks like that's the place up ahead," he said, pointing to the door of a nearby shop to distract both of them from the conversation at hand. "You coming in with me?" He understood that the Cacturne might want to be alone for a little while after his revelations.

With a mushy smile that Sten failed at hiding she took hold of Renzen's hand and squeezed. The Krookodile really was sweeter than he let on. The Cacturne counted herself lucky to be the only one to her knowledge to really be on the receiving end of that sweetness. "Yeah. I'm not staying out here alone. I can deal with people looking but I _really_ don't think it would end well if people tried to talk to me." Which really meant that if someone said something stupid Sten was going to create a dead body pile out on the street.

With some help from Renzen (because as it turned out when one was used to flat soled shoes walking in high heels let along climbing stairs in them was difficult)Sten made it to the landing. The two walked in and immediately an assortment of smells good, bad, sweet, sour, and better left unknown assaulted their noses.

"I hope all these odors mean that they know what they're doing," said the cactus-person with a wrinkled nose.

"Don't worry," he responded, moving farther into the shop while maintaining a comforting grip on Sten's hand. "I've been here a few times before and he's never failed me. Just a quick piece of advice though - don't stare too much. He doesn't like it when people stare."

Before he could answer Sten's curious look, the sudden sound of shuffling brought his attention back to the shop before them. "Yo Gid? You there?" he called out, attempting to peer through the gloom that pervaded the shop.

A squelching noise echoed back from behind a shelf. "Yep, hol' on one sec," a meaty voice responded. A few seconds later, a pile of ooze hauled itself out from behind the wooden shelf, stretching its way up into a vague semblance of a human male. "Renzen?" he asked. "S'that you, buddy?"

"You got it, Gid," Renzen said with a smile. "And this is Sten," he said, indicating the Cacturne to his side.

Without warning both humanoid's chests abruptly flattened and instead of soft, feminine curves to their forms they once again wore the more acceptable (to them) male bodies they'd been born with.

"Well looks like we won't need his help," Sten muttered, light green face turning red, "we've both just repossessed our manhood." The Cacturne pulled Renzen's borrowed jacket a little closer, buttoned it to the neck, and popped the collar up. "If anyone asks then I'm still female. I _will not_ be known as a cross-dresser in public."

Renzen grasped at his crotch with the sudden sensation, hardly daring to believe himself. "We're back," he said, a wide smile spreading across his face. "Guess it was just a temporary spell of some kind, probably just a prank." Relief coursed through his body. Sure, they still had no idea who had done it, but it wasn't going to be permanent.

Gid gave the two of them a wave. "Guess you won' be needin' much here then," he said affably. "Git a move on." With a tip of his hat, Renzen took Sten's hand again and led him out the door.

"I don't think you need to worry about anyone asking, Sten," Renzen replied with a wry grin as they stepped back out onto the suddenly busy streets. "You look pretty fabulous as a woman."

"You're only holding my hand so I can't punch you," Sten said for Renzen's ears only. He smiled as he spoke the threat. Joking tone or not he _would_ punch the Krookodile. The relieved feeling was spreading through the streets like wildfire (more than just them had been affected by the spell) and it wasn't difficult for him to experience the emotion without help. "By the way if you ever tell anyone about this I will make you regret it somehow some way."

Renzen snorted. "You honestly think I'd want to spread a story about us becoming women for an hour?" he asked, eyebrows raised. "It's like you don't know me at all." The mock offense in his voice melted away at the sight of Sten smiling. "It's good to be back, huh?" he said, giving the Cacturne's hand a squeeze. "What say we go back home and take the day off?" His partner gave a nod and together the two humanoids headed off down the streets.


End file.
